Transforming Social Distancing

Liz Hartz, LISW-S, ATR-BC

Being Alone.

There is a spectrum of reactions that people have in response to these two words -loneliness, sadness, fear, deprivation, but also relief, relaxation, interest, joy, and others. It depends on where you are on the continuum of introversion to extroversion, and on having choices about when and how you engage in alone time.

Whether you are an extrovert or an introvert, the social distancing required during the pandemic is shifting your normal social world. If you are challenged by these changes in your social comfort zone, feeling loneliness, lack of support, or just uneasiness in having your normal connections disrupted, you are not alone. We are all neurobiologically wired for connection, and relating to others is important to our well being.

While the pandemic creates much more separation than usual, and the experience can be a very real struggle, other responses are possible. While we didn’t choose social distancing, we can become more skillful in how we intentionally respond to it. A good place to start is awareness: Awareness of your current beliefs and feelings towards alone time. Awareness that you have choices in how you approach social distancing. Awareness that you can make your experience of social distancing much more positive.

Be Curious About the Opportunities of Social Distancing.

I like to start with what’s already working. What are some positive ways you already have of being alone? How can you build on this, in your own unique way, to create positive solitude?Be curious, be quiet, and notice what comes up for you. Notice what ideas and inner resources emerge. How would you most like to use this unexpected increase in alone time?

Consider taking a note from more introverted people’s approach. Introverts are often skilled observers, able to focus well, and are more independent and creative in their thinking. Social distancing can be an opportunity for meaningful self reflection, and taking a restorative pause, something we often don’t have enough of in our busy lives. This can be a time for greater attunement to your authentic self.

Savoring the Ordinary Pleasures That are Still Present in Our Lives.

While enjoying other people’s company is restricted at this time, there are still many ways to enjoy yourself. Whether it’s normal self-care, special pampering, your preferred RandR, or something new to try. Whether it’s spiritual contemplation, getting in touch with wonder, fascination, or something that makes you laugh and smile, let yourself recognize there are a lot of options. What are some of your favorites? Take a moment and write a few down. They are appointments with yourself, gifts to yourself, and the kind of nourishment that will help you get through this pandemic in a better way.

I wish you well in transforming social distancing into something that has meaningful benefits to you, and enjoying the process!

-Liz
Liz Hartz is a psychotherapist and art therapist at Better Minds Group